Decided to add my sketchbook, I've always been shy, and self conscious about my art. But as I've gotten older I care less about criticism, and rather share my ideas that I've drawn from thought. Sometimes they are random, and make no sense, and others are more focused on a certain object. A few of them I have completed in full, but most of them are just sketches, and I leave them as is. Hope you enjoy, and perhaps inspire some ideas of your own.

So I just started reading a book on Norse Mythology a few days ago and I'm about half way through it. Now, I've been into Norse Mythology, and History for a long time now, so I know most of the stories, even have tattoo's of Norse runes on my hand and wrist.

I highly recommend this book by Neil Gaiman, it's written very well, and tells the story of the Gods in good detail. But perhaps I'm a bit biased, since I relate more to these Gods, than anything Christianty has ever spewed. But if you've been brought up on the bible, and then read about the Norse Gods, you'll begin to see similarities, which makes you think, that.. whatever religion or God you follow, they all seem to have some sort of relevance to each other.

Are you into Norse Mythology? Who's your favorite god? Mine is Fenrir; Fenris The Wolf.

Just a small update! I added back my links section, I'll add more to it, when I have the time.

Also a small update on myself, I had a endoscopy, and colonoscopy this past Wednesday. They had found a few pollops in my colon, and removed all but one, I need to schedule another procedure soon to take care of it, the full results won't be available for two weeks. The results will let me know if they were cancerous or not. Even if they weren't, there's a high chance of them becoming cancerous, which leads to rectal cancer. My father had passed away from rectal cancer, my father and I were not close, he left when I was a toddler, but he made amends in his final days. His cancer was very aggressive, and had passed away within 6 months of his diagnosis.

My doctor seems confident that we caught it early, and I'm hoping for the best.

Sigh. So four months ago, we bought a second vehicle for our family, which ended up being my primary vehicle. We got extremely lucky to find it, we drove an hour away to a used car dealearship to look at a Jetta I had found in my search. The thing was awful, the stick shift was loose, gears were grinding, shocks were completely gone on it. So I asked if they had anything else on the lot that was a manual transmission, he said he had one that just came in, it wasn't even put on the website for sale.

So I asked to test drive it, he pulls up a 2014 Ford Focus, 66k miles, brand new tires, and air compressor for the A/C. The engine bay, interior, and trunk were immaculate, and it drove amazing, perfect gear timing, clutch and shifter were perfect. Now, I don't like Fords, but the car, and deal were to good to pass up. So we bought it, 5k cash in hand, keys title, and plate.

I ended up falling in love with this car over the next couple weeks. Buying accessories, washing it. It was my car, and my kids loved driving with me, because they never experienced a manual car before. About a week and a half ago, we were all heading home from the grocery store, me, my wife, and kids. My wife wanted to stop by another store before home, As were in the parking lot of the shopping center I took a left turn between a median, the median has tall bushes that I cannot see over, I slowly creep forward, and then go, and in that second, a mustang slammed into my right side hard, all airbags deployed, our kids came out unharmed but very scared, my wife got the most impact from the hit, her right hand had a huge gash and bruised and swelled immediately.

We are all ok, but my car was totaled. The guy in the mustang was speeding up to catch a green light. It was determined he was going about 20-25 MPH on impact, I was going around 7-10 MPH. After Insurance inspected the cars, and did their investigation, I was found at fault for the accident, in my state by law, all left hand turns are at fault for any accident. The insurance company reimbursed us pretty much the same amount we paid for the car, so we broke even.

I'm still heartbroken over my car, I wasn't able to even give it, its first oil change. But I'm glad my family is safe, my wife's hand is healing, and almost back to normal now. I explained to my kids that everything happens for a reason, and maybe finding that car out of pure luck, was meant to save all of our lives in the short time that I owned it.

I added a collections section with some of my old web creations through the years, sort of like a nostalgic collection for myself, but also to share with everyone. Sadly I can't seem to find any of the stuff I did in the 90's, but I'm still looking through my old CD-R and DVD-R backups, and I have an entire binder full of them, so whenever I can find the time, I'll continue the search and add more.

As for updates on myself, I've been busy with doctors appointments and visits, to get answers as to what exactly is causing my pain, and I'm getting closer. My recent bloodwork revealed that I have an auto-immune pancreas disorder, so for those that don't know what that is, it's basically my pancreas fighting against my body, which would explain why medications aren't working, and the pain will trigger from any food, it's random. So I can't pinpoint what food is good, or bad. One day I can eat a healthy meal and be fine, the next day, I can eat that same meal, and get a flare up.

My recent gastro visit, has set up an endoscpoic ultrasound, to get a good look of my stomach, then following up with a colonoscopy, because I'm at that age, and my father passed from rectal cancer, so they want to make sure I'm healthy. I've been doing OK, not great, my stomach pain has been minimal as of late, but I'm constantly stressing and worrying after anything I eat, afraid of another flare up.

I had a Gastro appointment this past Monday, to follow up from the hospital stay, it was suggested to schedule an Endoscopy, but my Gastro wants to wait and see if the medication I'm on keeps me on track. I mentioned in my last post, that I was put on two different medications, my Gastro want's me to stop using the liquid, and see how the pill works without it, apparently they can counter-act each other, rendering them useless when taken together.

So far, the daily pill has been working, I haven't had any stomach issue since the hospital, and I'm starting to eat a lot more foods. But I can no longer eat large meals, the tried and true three square meals a day, no longer applies to me. I am forced to eat small frequent meals through out the day. So I've literally been eating just about every hour. I am constantly eating, and my wife is joking about how all she see's me do now..is eat. But when you've gone through starvation, and dehydration to a point where it's unbearable, you tend to not want to go through that feeling again.

In April of last year, was my hospitalization for pancreatitis, when I went in, I weighed about 125 (I've always been on the skinny side). But when I began drinking, I reached a max weight of 139 pounds. Once I was diagnosed, my weight began to drop, because of my forced liquid diet, since then, I haven't been able to gain any of that weight back, then once I began to have stomach issues alongside my pancreatitis, I dropped even more weight. My last weigh-in at the hospital was 104, and was steadily dropping. Since my release, and put on these meds, and with the frequent meals, I've finally began to gain some weight back, and I'm up to 108 pounds, still very low, but it's definitely progress.

Happy New Year everyone. A new year, a not so new me. Whether I'm officially back or not is hard to say. So I don't know what this is. As of right now, it's just a blog. 2025 was pretty rough on me, struggling with alcohol, and binge drinking on the weekends, only to end up in the hospital for a week diagnosed with pancreatitis. It wasn't hard to quit, since I was never really addicted to it, I just enjoyed drinking on the weekends. But I had to live off of a clear liquid diet for 3 months, and eventually change to a low to non-fat diet, then slowly reintroduce fats and spices. I was doing good, felt better, felt like me again.

Then my brother, who lives about three hours from me, had to go into the hospital for a quadrupal bypass surgery. So I drove up to be with him the night before, and the entire time at the hospital. I failed to eat anything while he was in surgery, then drove back home that night after I knew he was ok. Needless to say, it was a little over 24 hours that I hadn't eaten, and my pancreas flared up from lack of food mid-drive home. The worst abdomen and back pain ever. The next three days were me trying to recover from the pain and going back to a liquid diet, all while being layed up in bed, trying to take care of two kids.

After all that, I got better but had four more flare ups within a couple of months. The last three months I had yet another flare up, which I then caught a awful cold on top of it. After my cold went away two weeks later, I began to have severe abdominal pain, but this was different, it wasn't pancreatitis. But I dealt with the pain for weeks. About a month ago I took my son on a surprise trip to the airport at night, because he loves to watch the planes come and go, when we got back home, I grabbed myself a handful of sun chips, and within about a minute I was on my hands and knees with a burning pain in my entire stomach, that was so intense that it brought tears to my eyes, my wife drove me to the hospital. Where they diagnosed it as pancreatitis.

This wasn't pancreatitis, this was something different, and I began to think it might have been Gastritis. They sent me home with pain meds, I felt better the next couple of days after, but the stomach pain persisted. I took those pain meds for three weeks, only to find out that what they perscribed me, was an NSAID, and I cannot have NSAIDs, as they produce to much acid in my stomach. So I was hospitalized again. This time they wanted to admit me for, yet again - pancreatitis. I told them no, and signed myself out, against medical advice.

I spent the next week or two, just barely living, not eating, losing weight daily, until I finally broke down. The months I spent in pain, barely surviving off handfuls of cheerios, and water, it broke me. I went to my wife sobbing, which then made her cry, because she's never seen me break before. She drove me back to the hospital on New Years Eve, and they tried to bring up the pancreatitis again, and I told them this isn't that, I'm barely living here. So they admitted me, I spent three days, on antibiotics, and fluids, no food, no drink, getting X-rays of my throat, chest and stomach. My X-rays came back clean, my insides are perfect, the doctor said.

I was released from the hospital on the 3rd, and they put me on an acid blocker, and a liquid that coats my stomach, that I need to take four times a day, for the rest of my life. I also need to follow up with a GI doctor and schedule an endoscopy to make sure everything is alright. The acid meds they put me on, seem to be slowly helping, but I am far from 100% better.

Atleast I'm still here for my family, and I hope I can begin to get back to a better life.